i have a wall around my heart because of you.
you shouldn’t have played with my love like that.
how would you feel if this were you?
there’s no way in fuck you can come back.
stay where you at.

but you said you still got that 4 me and i may be intrigued…

that 4 letter word that broke me
that 4 letter word that i relentlessly pursue
that 4 letter word that i referred to as you
that 4 letter word that keeps abandoning me
that 4 letter word that has endangered me
that 4 letter word that confirms, but questions everything.

that 4 letter word that forgot where your love lies
is that same 4 letter word that left me out to dry
how can you say that your heart ever complied?
don’t lie.

i hate that i loved you more than i loved myself
I hate that when you left i felt that i had no one left
nothing to live for
nothing to fight for
no one left to protect
no other love worth dying for
love caused a painful disconnect

blinded by those lies you told
oblivious to the truth i refused to see
obsessed with these thoughts of you being the one for me
selfishly.
selfish me…
i desperately held onto you
when all you wanted was to be free
but why act as if you were held in captivity
when the only prisoner was me.
strange.

stranger.

you kept me enslaved
your flaws deranged me
i won’t love the same after you
safe to say you changed me…
i ain’t talking no 25 to life
i’m just saying it’s gon’ take some time for me to get it right
i refuse to go to bed heartbroken another sleepless night.

ever wondered how it feels to commit to someone who only chooses themselves?
they told me that if i kept fighting for you our love would prevail, but we failed.
they lied to me well…
all i’m left with is pennies for my thoughts and broken promises for these empty wishing wells.
wish me well.
’cause i’m going to need it.
i'm going through hell to get to heaven without you
i know i’ll reach it.

behind those beautiful brown eyes
i thought i found God
but you were just a masterpiece of imperfections and deception…
the perfect façade.
you need God
the more and more i see.
with or without you
i’ll be who i am destined to be.