we never fell in love

so i don’t know what to call it

maybe we were in a fever dream

since your feelings were never honest…

i didn’t fall in love with you the first time

i laid eyes on you

i never felt that we were meant to be

i only wasted my time on you

i was never the real me…

i never wanted to be with you

i was only playing games

i was entertaining other women

just to prove to you that i

couldn’t and still can’t be tamed

i never wanted your love

only to know your name

you were never a muse to me

all you’ve brought me was shame

i think you are insane

to think that she would ever change

to think that she’ll be anything like me

you are completely deranged

i should’ve known that you would change colors

so smoothly

and the same way as you use paint

you were going to use me

i was only going to use you

to get rid of my pain

and now you get to lose me

it’s all a part of the game

it’s a damn shame

that i convince myself of all of these lies

and i usually end up believing them

until i look you in your eyes…

we were real.

you and i existed.

there is no one better for me than you

and you seem 2 have it twisted…

why do you do what you do to me?

as if we aren’t one in the same

your soul is nothing new to me

don’t you remember how it tastes?

so i lie and say that we never fell in love

because it makes me feel less shameful

to experience me in the way that you did

you should be thankful

instead of being distasteful and hateful

spreading misconceptions in your disguise

i’m not ashamed of how i feel for you

after all,

you were the one who lied…