FUCK U.

i don’t know who to believe

i can’t tell who’s real

or who’s using me

i’m not used to me

i only accept love that abuses me...

to life

or to love

whichever it applies

you made it hard for me to look myself in the eyes

my mirrors only show me what i hate to see

and i know you are so beautiful

but why aren’t you beautiful to me? 

you give me illicit illusions 

of what love could be

you tease me with perfection 

i’ll never attain with ease

you give me what i want 

instead of the things i need 

like putting clothes on a soulless body

that can’t breathe. 

i need protection from myself 

but first from others

i thought i wanted to love

but i discovered 

i too in fact need love myself

but lately

if no one loves me

i don’t know how 2 love myself...

i’ve been crying 4 help. 

i feel as if i’m on my last breath. 

i’ve forgotten how to breathe

i’m always down to try again

i’m optimistic indeed

but it all comes to an end

and all love leaves. 

i tell you i need my space

because all i know is myself

but whenever someone calls 

i’m first in line to deny myself

who can i call when i need help? 

i thought i had you

but turns out i’ve never had you at all

not a soul to love 

or a life to be recalled

...

so i fall in love and live recklessly

because it all dies in the end,

after all.